Are you feeling nervous for the first date? We all have been there. It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous or anxious when you are going on a date with someone you haven’t met before. You might know that someone through a dating app, hookup site or a friend recommended him, or it’s a blind date.
Most of us go on a first date with the expectation of having a second date. You may feel disappointed if things don't work out our way, especially, if you are thinking as that someone as “The One”.
Having an instant connection with a total stranger is rare but worth to try. After all, it is better to go out and see where it leads than staying at home on your couch, wondering why you are still single.
Here are a 10 scientific tips for You to help you with your first date – even if are meeting the person for the first time. no matter did You met in real life or virtual space. We already talk about men and women tips when it comes to dating, and this time, those 10 tips are for both: girls and boys.
Be careful: Think about the safety first
I think it’s obvious and make sense. Right? Anytime, you are meeting up with a total stranger, it is always a good idea to take any necessary security measures as it is better to be safe than sorry.
No matter how sweet he was with you while chatting on a dating app, or how close the person is to your friend who recommended him, you don’t have to trust the person right away.
Before going out, tell someone where you will be and always choose a public place like a restaurant or café to meet for the first date. If you feel okay, you can even post about your location on social media.
It is even better if that someone you are going out also knows that you told about your whereabouts to a family member or friend. Choose a location that has an escape, in case you need one.
1) Keep it casual
First dates don’t have to formal or stressful. Just be yourself and keep things more low-key. It will be easier for you to assess your connection with your date if you keep the conversation casual.
A first date shouldn’t be too overwhelming. The purpose is to get to know the other person without expecting the wedding bells immediately. The time is invested better if you go with the flow and keep the conversation smoothly.
2) Don’t expect too much
There is nothing wrong about being optimistic and expecting good outcomes from the first date but having too high expectations can lead to a stressful situation. Try to know the person better and see if there is any chance for the second date and you can worry about the rest later.
The first date isn’t about getting all the information out of that person right away. The main purpose of the first date is to give you an idea of whether you want to see that person again or not. It is also possible that you liked that person but your date doesn’t share the same feelings as you about having the second meeting.
This shouldn’t be taken as a personal rejection. Getting into a relationship requires two people to like each other and there is nothing wrong if you or the other person don’t sense any chemistry required for future meetings.
3) Don’t fall for the small talk trap
Falling into the trap of the small talk is easier than you think – especially if the other person is a total stranger to you. Skip the small talk about weather or traffic problems, and get to the real questions.
First dates are not supposed to be super lengthy. You have a limited amount of time so invest it wisely. The intention here should be to know the person, and if you guys share any common interests or values to start with.
4) Come up with a plan
Going out with a total stranger is hard but coming up with the right questions to know about the person or his intention is even harder. Before going out, you should come up with at least three to five questions you may want to ask.
You can also come up with a nice ice breaker to initiate the conversation. The other person could be nervous too or an introvert, so take the responsibility to initiate the conversation if you have to. It will give you more control over what you want to know to decide about the second date. But the more important thing is that you feel comfortable around that person.
5) Don’t ignore your needs
I get it when you like the other person and wants to impress. We all want to be likable on our first dates, but it doesn’t mean that you ignore your own needs. You might end up hurting yourself emotionally if you ignore the red flags just because the other person is attractive or living your dream life.
For example, if you are interested in a serious relationship, but the other person tells you upfront that he isn’t interested in marriage or kids. Don’t stay because you like him and hope to change him at some point. What if he doesn’t change and you end up wasting the precious years of your life chasing what was never there.
6) Maintain your boundaries
Doesn’t matter if he is a total stranger to you or has met before, it is always important that you stick to your personal boundaries – whatever they may be.
If you find yourself in a situation where the other person is violating your decided limits, consider this as a big red flag. You don’t have to compromise your physical or emotional safety for the sake of getting the second date.
Do whatever you feel to do to keep yourself safe and do it unapologetically. The good match is supposed to be respectful and understanding.
7) Stick to the present
The first date can stir the wave of anxiety especially if you like the person and wants to have the second date. Instead of thinking about your past experiences, and comparing the person with your ex or imagining what could be the possible future, stay present in the current moment.
Nothing sabotages a relationship like a comparison of the prospective date with the ex. You can’t change the past and you can’t control the future. What you can do is to live and enjoy the present moment.
8) Have fun
If dating seems like an overwhelming task or chore to you, perhaps, you need to stop for a little while. Dating should be fun and if you don’t enjoy the whole process of meeting new people, visiting interesting places, showing off the new outfit you need to think that what is hindering you from having fun.
Maybe you are not over your ex, or maybe you are not ready for the commitment yet, or maybe you keep choosing the wrong dating partners. Don’t force yourself for the dating just because you are at certain age limit. It will be complete torture for you and the other person. Go on dates if you are serious about it and truly wants to find out your soul mate. You should keep your heart open for a new romantic opportunity without putting too much pressure on yourself.
9) Know what you are looking for
It is always a good idea to enter into the dating world with an intention. If you are interested in a serious relationship then there is no point in wasting time with someone who isn’t.
Knowing what you are looking for from the first date will save you from a lot of heartaches. Grab a pen and piece of paper to write down every characteristic or feature you want to have in your perfect date.
You also need to remember that looks can fade away with time but what makes a relationship worth to live are other person’s integrity and character that never fades away. If you want to be happy always choose a good heart over good looks.
It can be really scary to go out on a date with someone you barely know or have never met before. But as long as you set realistic expectations and follow the above tips, there is nothing to be afraid of and who knows you might end up finding the love of your life.
10 ) Be relaxed and be Yourself!
Don't pretend, act or anything similar just be what You are! (most valuable tip).
